I have a secret, a very personal secret, yet oh, so common of the average behavior with the stressed and emotionally unbalanced human mind. Dreams are nothing more than a psychological playground for the usual wants and desires of the incompetent function of the brain reliving inner tension in the formats of insane dreams or guilty fantasies. Mine was due to the unbalance of my emotions, and otherwise depraved and juvenile mindset to rely on something remedial that I may want, but this is also, in some way, healthy... I have come to the conclusion that my dreams become more and more personal and subjective, not only to my wants and needs, but what I, being a woman, expect from an unrealistic and fairy tale-like world and lifestyle... *Notice severe sarcasm*
O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o.O.o
I lie there, still as a painting; motionless as a sculpture, yet as aware as a hyperactive cat to my surroundings, unsure of what is going on. Relaxed, I reside in a comfortable position, my arm framing my face over my head, dangling to the floor, exposing the features of my face, showing my mask of makeup with a sort of exuberance... curious... I lie on a dark, red-velvet couch looking into the darkness as the illumination of lit candles light up the tiniest hue, almost giving off a hallucination in the perfect darkness as to what comes my way as the folds of my black dress fall glamorously to the ground. I am completely vulnerable; stuck... Almost scared as to whatever comes closer. Nothing but a theme blares through the room almost like a bizarre, dark, and twisted music video as I hear the words overbear my ears... I feel him approach...
~ "Caught up in this madness too blind to see, woke animal feelings in me," ~
He comes nearer, I feel his strong presence fill the room instantly, as if he just appeared like magic. I gasp in complete surprise as I suddenly feel his gentle touch caress my skin. I feel a strange sensation that I have never felt before, such a strong, soothing... fiery sensation within my core as his hands move on the outer shell of my dress.
He comes closer and closer to me, pressing against me. I eventually hear the rugged breaths of his calm, yet uneasy breathing. He barely makes a sound as I suddenly feel a kiss within my hair, and he holds me close to him.
~ "You know I make you wanna scream!" ~
He caresses me in such a sensual manor, taking great care and protection of what he suddenly and rightfully calls his own. He pulls me, binds me, mentally moves me like a lifeless doll... Treating me like a marionette, holding my strings in limbo and manipulating me for his own desires; I not having a care in the world... Completely at his mercy, almost wanting; thriving. A simple kiss grows into such a sensual fire that flairs between us, melting us alive... I am not able to control myself. I am completely care free and lustful to his rage and total control over me.
~ "You know I make you wanna run form me baby, but know it's too late, you've wasted all your time!
~ yeah ~"
I am paralyzed; motionless... completely still. I use every fiber of my being to do so much as lift a finger, but all else fails as the numbness is permanently cursed in my body... Yet, I am still alive inside. My stillness is only cured with his touch... his hold on me and my body; his power over me. I feel something...
~ "Cherishing, those feelings pleasuring. Cover me, unwanted clemency! Scream from the silence scream while there's life left, vanishing. Scream from the pleasure unmask your desire, perishing!" ~
Wait...
He uses me...
I don't feel right, *inhale, exhale*
I open my eyes; he pursues me... It feels good; it feels right... But is it? The rebel in me knows this is wrong, and it thrives for it. It's wrong! I. Don't. Care. I don't need it, but I want it; I desire it; I crave it; I yearn for it;
I deserve it.
He is beautifully horrid; he is a monstrous artist; he is a tragic romance that will do nothing but fade away and die after this surreal and ethereal "one night stand" ends. Disappointment... pointless after tonight, I realize But... this moment... My moment...
He caresses me and holds me tenderly with excessive care or me, I refusing to let go. I burn in my core; the heat of the moment... All I can say is "Take Me Away,".
...
He stay silent as the wind as one last kiss escapes from his being to mine. A gentle smile presses against my shoulder as I grasp onto him for dear life... I relieve my tension, I relieve every emotion...
Amazing...
...What have I done?...







